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Do You Know?

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Do you know? I bet you don't. I bet you do not know what it is like to lose everything...over and over and over.
But I do that every night. I lose my freedom. I lose my loved ones.
I just lose.
Do you know that you made me feel things I thought long dead?
Maybe you do know that.....how each smile would light up my days, my nights....
How each touch, real or imagined, was all I hoped for....how my breath would race just seeing you.
Do you know how much you hurt me, turning away from me? Of course you do. You just ignored it, to save yourself. Everyone saves themselves.
But when you are lost already, only someone else's light can rescue you.
And you took it away. And I closed up.
Do you know how funny I found it, seeing you again, just inches from my lips?
How *you* found *me*, searched me out....I guess you know me better than I thought. Knew I would take you back, forgive the pain and desire for you, hold you close and keep you safe.
I said we'd take it slow. But that wasn't true, not for me.
Do you know that I lied?

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